Finnegan’s Wake
by Boston-your-my-Home
Summary: A songfic to the classic Irish drinking song Finnegan’s Wake.


Title: Finnegan's Wake

Author: Bostonyourmyhome

_Seamus Finnegan lived in Walkin' Street  
A gentleman, Irish, mighty odd;  
He had a brogue both rich and sweet  
And to rise in the world he carried a hod._

He was twenty-seven with five children a good paying job and a lovely wife. He was living in his homeland of Dublin, Ireland. Seamus was happy as a farmer and his wife Lavender. It has been years since Hogwarts, with all the things they went though. Now Voldermort was gone and life was good.

_Now Seamus had a sort of the tipplin' way  
With a love of the whiskey he was born  
And to help him on with his work each day  
He'd a "drop of the cray-thur" every morn. _

It was morning in the Finnegan's house, Lavender was making breakfast, the children where getting ready for their days, and Seamus was drinking his morning whiskey.

"Tha' O'Conner's want me to help them with a hole in their roof" muttered Seamus taking a swig of whiskey.

"Now you be careful up on those muggle ladders" She said over by the stove "If you fall with no wizards or witches 'round you could get hurt!"

"Don't worry Lavender everything will be fine! Just fine"

Boy was he wrong.

_Whack fol the darn O, dance to your partner  
Whirl the floor, your trotters shake;  
Wasn't it the truth I told you  
Lots of fun at Finnegan's wake! _

Seamus strolled down the street half-drunk shouting out morning greeting to his neighbors. He arrived at the O'Conner's home shortly, and Tim O'Conner was out waiting with the tall wooden ladder leaning against the house.

"'Bout Time you showed up!" he said angrily.

"Ahh shut your gob ya good for nutin son of a ….." Seamus muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" Seamus said and began to climb the ladder up onto the roof.

_One mornin' Seamus was feelin' full  
His head was heavy which made him shake;  
He fell from the ladder and broke his skull_

"Be careful up there Seamus!" Tim yelled.

"I am being careful you Idiot!" Seamus yelled and the ladder swayed dangerously.

The ladder fell with Seamus on it he yelled out a swearword then hit his head on a rock and he fell silent. Tim panicked and called 911, but nothing could be done, Seamus was gone.

_  
And they carried him home his corpse to wake.  
They rolled him up in a nice clean sheet  
And laid him out upon the bed,  
A gallon of whiskey at his feet _

_And a barrel of porter at his head._

Lavender was weeping openly over her husband's body the children standing the doorway all hugging each other as tears ran down their small pale faces. The youngest little Colleen stepped forward toward Lavender.

"Mommy does this mean no more daddy?" she said her small voice shaking.

"It's okay honey, it's okay" she said hugging her small child close to her chest. They left the room and Lavender made out the letters to inform their old schoolmates.

_  
Whack fol the darn O, dance to your partner  
Whirl the floor, your trotters shake;  
Wasn't it the truth I told you  
Lots of fun at Finnegan's wake!_

"GINNY!"

"What Harry!"

"There is an owl here"

"You get it I am busy!"

"But I'm Busy!" he said flicking around the T.V Ron got them, he was amazed by it and decided since Harry had lived with muggles he would like it.

"FINE! I'll get it" said Ginny

She stormed into the room and opened the window, the owl stuck out its leg, she took off the letter and began to read, he face had changed dramatically, from angry to sad and shocked.

"Harry…Harry we need to talk"

"I know what this is about. Ron just wants me to have the pixie family in our upstairs closet here for some time! He said you wouldn't find out! I tried to reason with him!"

"Harry, its no that. But we will have a long talk about that. Its…Seamus, remember him?"

"Who doesn't, Crazy Irish kid made jokes about how he was a future drunk"

"Well Harry the thing is, Seamus is…..dead"

_His friends assembled at the wake  
And Mrs. Finnegan called for lunch,  
First they brought in tray and cake  
Then pipes, tobacco and whiskey punch.  
Dean Thomas began to bawl  
"Such a nice clean corpse, did you ever see?  
"O Seamus, why did you die?"  
"Arragh, hold your gob" said Ronald Weasly_

"I can't believe that crazy little drunk kid is gone" said Hermione Granger "I worried about him but it was always amusing when he tried to dance. I'm going to miss him"

A group of people where heading tothe Finnegan's home to attend Seamus' wake.

"I wonder how Lavender is taking it" Said Ginny concerned.

Meanwhile in back of them Harry and Ron where complaining about the walk.

"Couldn't we just go via Floo powder of something?" Ron asked irritated.

"No this is more respectful" Ginny said

"Respectful my…" Harry started

"Here we are!" Said Hermione as they stopped at one of the cottages, she knocked on the door and a teary-eyed Lavender answered.

"So glad you could come" she said between dry sobs "Make yourself at home"

The group entered and went to the living room where Dean Thomas, Parvati and Padma, Neville, and oddly Fred and George.

Seamus' corpse sat in the back wall of the room in an open casket. The guests talked among themselves sometimes one of Seamus' children would come in to sit by their dads casket. Then Lavender and their oldest daughter Cathleen came in with trays of tea and sandwiches.

"Great! I'm starved" said Ron loudly; Hermione just hid her face in her hands in embarrassment.

About a half hour after the tea and sandwiches where gone Lavender brought in a bottle of fine Irish whiskey, Bad Idea.

Dean leaned over the casket and began sobbing "Man, we where such good friends! Whatever happened"

"Aw Shut up!" said Ron "We don't need to hear your bickering!"

_Then Padma Patil took up the job  
"O Thomas," says she, "You're wrong, I'm sure"  
Thomas she gave her a belt in the gob  
And left her sprawlin' on the floor.  
And then the war did soon engage  
'Twas woman to woman and man to man,  
Shillelagh law was all the rage  
And a row and a ruction soon began._

"Oh Please" said Padma "You didn't talk for years after Hogwarts!"

Dean proceeded to punch her square in the face.

Parvati helped her twin up yelling curse words at Dean in the process.

"Shut up you stupid Hindu!" he said

That's when it all broke out, Ron tried to defend Dean so Parvati threw a punch at him. Hermione ran up to defend her husband (yes, husband) and she began to brawl with Parvati, and Ginny was backing Hermione up by attacking Padma. Meanwhile, Fred and George, who where never invited, ganged up on Dean and Neville sat in the corner just watching everyone fight. Harry was in the midst of it all because he was by the casket when it all started and he couldn't get out of the fight zone. Everyone had seemed to resort to muggle brawling and not dueling.

_Then Harry Potter ducked his head  
When a noggin of whiskey flew at him,  
It missed, and falling on the bed  
The liquor scattered over Seamus!  
The corpse revives! See how he raises!  
Seamus rising from the bed,  
Says,"Whoirl your whiskey around like blazes  
Thanum an Dhul! Do you thunk I'm dead?"_

Just then Harry heard Fred yell out "WHISKEY BOTTLE!" and he ducked as a bottle of whiskey flew over his head and shattered getting all over Seamus, who started to rise up.

"The zombie is alive!" Yelled out Neville stupidly.

But Seamus just needed one look to know what had happened.

"I'm not dead!" he declared loudly.

They all had a good laugh and a story to tell for years

_Whack fol the darn O, dance to your partner  
Whirl the floor, your trotters shake;  
Wasn't it the truth I told you  
Lots of fun at Finnegan's wake!_

Author Note: I know the end is corny and it is kind of stupid but whatever.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
